The Oreo from Hell

I very nearly killed my sister’s rabbit, Oreo, this morning.

That thing is the spawn of Satan.

It literally waited for me to leave for work; as soon as I opened the front door it shot it through my legs, into the house and then pooped right there!

So I chased it out of the house and it got pissed so it tried to bite me. I started stomping my feet (and growling “Oreo, stop!”) to intimidate it and so that it wouldn’t be able to bite my feet but the thing literally jumped up to try to bite me on my thigh!

Did I mention that it’s evil?

Then that furry ball of malevolence chased me – seriously chased me – around the driveway to the garage!

I kept swinging my water bottle and yelling “Stop it or I’m going to hit you!” (along with many expletives) at it but do you think it cared? No! It still kept charging at me! I was only safe when I jumped into the car and even then, it stayed right there by the car door giving me an evil stare waiting for me to come out. I revved the engine and honked my horn but it wouldn’t budge. Good thing (for him) my honking attracted the attention of Mercy, our helper, who rescued it before I ran that evil creature over. It was destined to be road-kill.

I was attacked by Thumper’s demonic distant cousin. Can you believe it? Oh, the shame of being seen by the neighbors screeching and being chased around the garden by a little bunny!

Why, you ask, is that furry hellion in our house in the first place?

It used to live with its owner, my sister, who lives one floor below my Dad’s unit. My Dad banished it from the building when it started eating Dad’s bonsai and then even bit him when he tried to shoo it away.

That’s just the kind of evil bunny that it is.

This is the sign I made for our front door: